Devil's Point in the rain(Photo)
The fight or flight principle. In school and at work Bill recalls taking the flight approach over the issue of being a JW and dealing with the mountain of inconsistencies, between the JW way and the accepted notions or norms. It was a matter of act stupid and fret, lest I be discovered or state my objections and receive the sting of discrimination. The law requires a minor to attend school. And an adult must participate in the work world to live. Being a JW is work, defending your faith in school and at work, in the ministry and in the congregation. And regimentation. So Bill took up masturbation, as a tonic, or used it conveniently, as one. It became the ultimate flight mechanism. his Father was little help, because he was detached and the "Truth" was anathema to his Father's life and goals. He realized his sons would be faithful to their Mother and her ways. It would be easier to leave them behind. "Dad was a flake.", just today, Bill's Brother, Mike.
In Portland, on Prozac and, then Lamictal and 20 strip clubs within reach, Bill indulges. He was forced to sell his truck, adding to the tension and his Mother is near death, so he leaves to see her. He asks to room with his one son. his son tells him he never really liked him and he smells and doesn't go to meetings. Bill returns to Portland but doesn't know what to do or where to go. So he doesn't get a room, again. He spends some of the money on the girls. He gets to "know" some of them "personally" and it is satisfying. instead of meeting attendance, where you are criticized, if you fail the flock's and overseers' expectations. mental illness is not understood there. You try a couple churches, but they are just more god and religion. Stigma and humiliation being a JW.
